Thursday, November 24, 2011

Almost a whole month??

I'm slacking with these posts, so I apologize... but only a little bit. I've been busy as all hell, so somehow I think you'll all survive.

Quick note: some ridiculous people are still getting to this blog from Google. Seriously? Seriously? This is insane. But, alas some people don't have busy adult lives like some of us. I suppose if it makes them happy then so be it, although it is really sad that some people can't move the hell on and get on with their own lives. Sometimes I pity these people, especially the specific ones we know I can't stand, but in reality it is of no concern of mine. Some people find this blog helpful, other people are sadly obsessed, either way it brings readers and I don't mind that one bit. On to the blog!

    Lately things have been interesting. Sometimes tough, sometimes rewarding, sometimes confusing, but always interesting.
    First things first, I'm still working at my job. I have rewarding work with clients that I'll admit I've grown fond of, and I see their progress. I love making a difference in these clients lives. They are just children and they deserve to have a chance at a normal life, so I hope my work can give them that. This job is certainly not where I expected to end up, and sure I look for better work with better money and more of a focus on my specialties but for the time being I feel rewarded. It's a special thing to have truly rewarding work.
    Another thing to touch on, my darling husband to be is away from me, although now it won't be for much longer. His truly wonderful heart came out again, pulling him away from me and to Georgia to help his family when they needed him. About three weeks ago we packed up our apartment (that's a long story of course and there's a lot involved in it, so we can save the details for another time) and I moved back into my mother's home. We weren't sure at the time how long he would have to spend away, so our parting was especially dramatic. I accepted that I would have to be alone for a while, and as tragic as it was it made me realize once again that Chris is going to be the most amazing husband. The fact that he would give up the life he's been working so hard to build to help his family, after making sure to leave me in capable hands (he was so sweet and asked my mother if she would have me move back in and look after me while he was gone, keeping me healthy and safe until he could get home to me) shows his dedication to family. I know that one day I will have to do something similar for either my mother or my sister, and I know he will be by my side when I've got to make these changes.
    It has not been easy to be without the love of my life. We had been doing so well, playing house and building our life together. We'd been dealing with the rough things and enjoying the fun things... practicing for married life and doing the best we could. If I can say so, I think we were doing really well actually. To have all of that ripped away in a matter of days (literally 3 days from the phone call saying he was needed until he left) was traumatic and it still is. I've been doing my job the best I can and trying to do my best at work, which has apparently been quite good according to my review. Even with everything it's been hard. You don't realize how much you do with a person until they are not around. You can't understand how much you take for granted. It's hard to appreciate what a difference it makes in your life to sleep next to someone, making you feel safe and warm, comforted and special every time you roll over, every night, until they are gone. I know he'll be back, and we've even got the date set for it, but it's still hard to be apart. I love Chris with all of my heart, and every day we are apart it becomes more and more evident to me.
    A while ago a person (mind you this person is not a reliable source of anything, nor are they very intelligent so this should be taken with a grain of salt) told me that she had read something somewhere that stated that after an amount of time together, people in love experience a change in their neurochemistry. Now, I've never claimed to be a neurochemist and don't know too much about it. This girl claimed that after a while those in love experience a change in there physiology, to make them more compatible with the person that they love. Somewhat similar to how women that spend a lot of time together sync up on their menstrual cycles. This change makes the lovers enjoy the same things, from foods to music, essentially ensuring that they will remain compatible.
    This idea of changes makes sense, and also makes sense as to how being apart can be so hard. When you are so in tune with another person that you literally share neurological links losing the physical presence of that person can cause pain and anguish like nothing else. It really can feel like you are missing a part of you. Or, maybe, it's simply true love.

    Enough of that mush though. A very happy Thanksgiving to all of you. For anyone interested in what my life will be looking like for the next little while, it will be exciting. Finishing my Christmas shopping, seeing some doctors, and visiting Georgia to meet my future in-laws and come home with my future husband. That will about wrap up my year... and I'll be perfectly pleased to have it that way.

Things happen every day, and sometimes we can't quite figure out why they do. We mourn our losses and try to understand, but in the end the most important thing is that we use each situation to learn and grow from. Without personal growth we aren't accomplishing anything at all.