Anyone who knows me knows that Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. I love cards and presents, I love helping make other people happy, and I love having my family together. At this age I don't want for much, so receiving gifts is even more exciting because I never know what creative and wonderful things my loved ones will find for me. It is a magical and wonderful time for me, and I only hope to spread that feeling with everyone else.
Needless to say, I can't help reflecting back on years passed and the way that thing used to be. Last year was the first that Chris got to spend with us, making it special and the first of many, creating an addition to our traditions that I can't imagine changing. Last year we also had that individual that I hold many unfavorable feelings towards in our home, trying to allow her to feel like she was part of the family, and having the gesture thrown back in our faces while she went all over the state, disregarding the care that had been given to her and being selfish beyond belief. It was the beginning of my life with Chris, and the end of my life with her. It was interesting to say the least, and as much as I wish I hadn't wasted time and love on an ungrateful bitch I wouldn't change any of it for the world.
Things happen for a reason, and people come and go. The greatest gift we can give one another is our love and affection, and those things are abundant in my life. I am blessed with a family that is healthy and happy, pets that bring joy through their constant silliness, and a comfortable home that radiates love and happiness. Sure, I have trouble now and again just like everyone else, but I have a support system that helps me at every turn.
A while ago I was feeling like I had a void in the area of friendship, but even that has been filled. A lady that I find engaging, fun, and super attractive is moving into the city so I hope I will finally be able to actually go and see her, enjoying music and laughter as well as the companionship of a female, which is difficult for me. I don't trust bitches. In addition, I've acquired a friend of the opposite gender that genuinely doesn't base our friendship on the idea of eventually having sex with me (a novel concept for men) and also respects the sanctity of my relationship. Sure, I can't be close to my seven hundred and something friends on facebook, but I am perfectly happy with the ones I do have.
One more piece of this extended family that I'm gaining is Chris's wonderful family and friends. They are wonderful to him, and that means the world to me. When you truly love someone, you are forced to love the people close to them, and I'm glad that the people that have joined my life through Chris are so good and loving. While he was away I was even able to turn to his friends for council and support. I suppose they happen to be new friends too.
All in all I would say that this year has helped me to grow and develop. I've gone through periods of complete depression, loss of faith in humanity, achieving my masters degree, getting engaged, realizing that no matter how much you give to people they will always want more (and some people just aren't worth it), deciding that I never want to have friends that I would try to count on again, terminating that decision, learning how to accept the help of others, seeing one of the people I hold most dear marry the love of her life, beginning a career, and growing more confident in myself and my decisions. I couldn't have done any of this without the people I love, and I'm glad that I've got such phenomenal people to help me through the process, whether their part has been keeping me grounded, boosting me up, or simply being someone to lean on.
This last year has helped me realize that I am lucky, blessed and determined. Regardless of where I go from here, I know that it will be in the right direction so long as I have the world I've worked so hard to create around me.
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