Oh Hello, 2014!

     This year has been rung in by myself and Chris with champagne at home. No big parties, no crowds, no loud noises and no pageantry. This might seem unfortunate to some women but to me it was simply perfect. Our year will be filled with visits to see friends. We will have our own party to celebrate our marriage. There will be time for all of that this year and I wanted to start it the way I will start every year to come- in the arms of the man I love.
    As expected things are moving quickly. Today marks 68 days to our wedding. Being so close is surprisingly more exciting than stressful. Chris has been the most wonderful fiance, helping me at every step of the way. With his help I'm sure that we will have everything exactly as we would like it.
    We've met and booked a photographer, have selected our baker, my dress should be here within the next two weeks. I've got everything to go with it. We've got everything we need except for a florist, transportation, gifts and "Chris Things." I can only refer to it that way, because they have clearly become things that are out of my control. Thankfully I have full faith that he will be able to do anything that I  cannot.
     Outside of wedding things we've hit it off with another couple, and intend to go see them tonight. I've received a lovely gift from the pay it forward 2014 that my friend Erin helped me get into and started one of mine that will be going out. I'm slowly studying for the GREs so that I may be able to become Doctor Harris one day. I'm continuing in my personal therapy and making some progress, a huge relief since I've been at it for so very long. This week I've also gone on my first horse ride down here. I had a wonderful time and can't wait to go again!
   
    I know I usually have a point to make or something to complain about, but in this case I just figured a little update for friends that probably won't be hearing too much from me over the next 68 days since we'll be doing wedding things all the time! Wish me luck everyone, I'm sure it will be hectic, and before I know it I'll be looking down an aisle at the end of March!

Georgia On My Mind

     It's been 3 months since my last blog entry, and 3 months since I left the lovely greater Philadelphia area. A lot has changed but the important things stay the same. My lovely brother-in-law to be got a long story about my relationship with Chris last night, and part of it had to do with this blog. He was interested so I guess I'm inspired even though I've just been writing on paper lately. Lets just call this one an update blog.
     I got to Georgia without event. The two day trip wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and my lovely kitty made it just fine. Thankfully my mother was kind enough to get us a pet friendly hotel room to break up the trip. The first thing that Chris fed me once we were deep enough south was Krystal's. For anyone who doesn't know they make these little steamed hamburgers. I don't like them but they're one of Chris's favorites.
     Everyone here has been very sweet to me, making sure that I have anything that I need. They've been helpful and caring, aiding in my search for local doctors of all types. When I came here a large part of it was to help me work on myself and get as healthy (body and brain) as possible so that I could be back to 100% at home and eventually at work again. We have finally found what I think will be everything I need as far as doctors go.
     Chris and I have made massive wedding progress. We have decided that we'll be getting married in the chapel that his grandparents, the only couple we know that stayed together, were married in back in the 1940s. We settled on a very small guest list of family and very close friends. We found a lovely place for our reception across the state line in Chattanooga. We made a super cute save the date and sent them out to our tiny guest list. My mom came to visit in the middle of this month and we found my dress in Atlanta. We still need fairly little things like a baker, my hair and makeup stylist, a florist, and choosing the invitations. Chris has been so helpful with all of this that I'm not remotely worried about getting them done. If for some reason you want to see more about our super sweet wedding you can check out our site here: http://harrisandgaudioso.ourwedding.com/
      Chris's family is doing fairly well, although I'm pretty self absorbed between finding doctors, getting a staph infection, and trying to get my head in order. Fairly recently Chris's mom has gone to stay with her boyfriend and his brother has come to stay at his granddad's house like us. Its wonderful to have the chance to be around and really get to know his family, especially with how much time he spent with mine.
      Some people ask me how or why I came here. They don't understand how a person can quit their job, leave their home, be away from their family and everything they've ever known. It's really really simple. It's Chris's turn to be there for his family. He spent years with me in Pennsylvania while I finished my degree and established my career. He helped to create Christmas and was there for birthdays. He acted as a part of my family and showed them that he would be good to me for the rest of our lives. Now it's time for the roles to change and me to take on getting to know families and do what I can to support him and help out. I've become a firm believer in the concept of taking turns and supporting each other evenly. It helps to avoid resentment and give each other what they need.

Long story short, I'm glad that I decided to come here. The slower place of life is a nice change, leaving work and taking a break was necessary. If anybody isn't sure if they should take a leap like this I think I'd tell them they should.

   

Aaaaannddd BOOM goes the dynamite.

    Today the husband to be and I went to a wedding. Our first wedding together, the first wedding either of us remember going to (I was at my parent's wedding when I was really young), and the first wedding since we've gotten engaged. It was beautiful and felt intimate. The ceremony was held in a romantic clearing in a lovely Japanese garden, the reception in a tent nearby, not too big and not too small, the bride looked like she could have walked right out of a dream, and I'm sure her husband thought she may have. Her friends and family were in attendance, there was no tension, and everyone seemed to have a lovely time. It was wonderful. Like a fairytale.

    I guess that's when reality hit. I've got to do this one day, and not too far off. I always wanted to have a lovely fairytale wedding. I wanted the white dress, the linens, the cake, the ceremony, thebridesmaidsthedancingthefamilyhappinessfunguestsomgwtfamithinkinganymore?!?! You can see how this is going... I may need to elope.

    I hate clothes shopping most of the time, what makes me think I'll be happy with a white poofy dress that might just make me look bigger? I can't keep myself clean during dinner at home, how will I not spill wine or drop food on myself at our reception? I get antsy during a 20 minute meeting, how will I be able to sit through a wedding ceremony filled with pomp and circumstance, let alone be completely present like I need to be. I barely like people, and my friends are similar so how will the bridesmaids get along? Chris hates dancing, what makes me think he'll like it on that day? My family bickers at a simple dinner out, how can I expect them to chill out on such a stressful day?
   Almost a month ago Chris asked me the biggest question of my life so far, and the answer was the simplest I've had to give. I knew without a doubt that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with before he asked. I knew that he would make an amazing husband, father, family member (super important since I have a little family), and would always work hard to provide for us and do whatever it takes to create a comfortable life for us. At that moment I didn't have a single question. Now that's all I feel like I've got. Previous statements about Chris and our future excluded, of course.
    I guess today is one of the first days that it really hit me. The drama with everyone around me and the problems surrounding the situations have clearly distracted me from the facts of the matter. At some point, close or distant in the future, whether privately and in secret or publicly in front of hundreds of friends and family, I will be marrying Christopher A. Harris Jr. No matter what happens for the rest of my life, or how unsure about anything I might become, I know that I can (and will) completely give my life to him. He is the man that has proven to me he deserves it... even though sometimes that means he deserves a punishment. :)
    Today may have made me think we should stretch the engagement a little more, but it's also made me more sure than ever that he's the man for me.