Wednesday, June 15, 2011

On-again, off-again Zen

     The life of the soon(ish) to be married woman is filled with ups and downs. We have the duty to plan a ceremony that will express the unique individuality of ourselves as well as our future spouse, and then a party after for our friends and family that will somehow please everyone from frat boys to 84 year old grandfathers. It's easy to see how a girl can lose herself in this process, not to mention how stressful it can be.
     I got some advice from a lovely newly wed. Love is even in her name. She reminded me that it's the wedding of Chris and I, not everyone else. Who attends and doesn't, who is involved and isn't, who loves it and who doesn't, none of that matters. "If someone can't be there for you when you need them, cut them out. If someone doesn't agree with your choice of flowers, tell them that if they hate it that much not to attend." It's something that only took me 2 weeks to forget. Chris and I have been through enough, separately and together, we don't need to allow more drama and strife into our lives. He proposed at an interesting point in time, right before he started at an Ivy League medical school, making this process piled on his education, my research, and probably my education as well given that I intend to continue into a doctoral program.

***Funny note, pussy George who didn't respond to comments or a private message, might actually be a little bit right. In 2-3 years Chris and I will have a difficult life. He'll be working long hours curing sick children of illnesses. I'll be using late nights to continue research and help clients in crisis. But every night we'll be able to come home to one another and be with the one person who truly understands why we are how we are. The one person I trust. That is the thing that makes me truly happy: Knowing that I'll always have the love of my life and the most trustworthy person I know on my side will keep me blissfully happy. So Georgie Boy, while you were partially right, you were wrong. Our lives will be happy, and I doubt that I'll be feeling like a bitch when my husband and I are making real differences in people's lives (not to mention pretty decent money) and continue to have a supportive family and a network of friends that has proven themselves reliable and trustworthy.

    So to the point, I'm ready. Chris and I can really start planning some things and enjoying ourselves. I'm so excited!!! Finally.

Oh, and for people who hate everything, stop reading!! But here's a kitten.

4 comments:

  1. I am not sure I ever got a private comment from you, and I did not respond to comments, because I do not live on my computer like some people do... I actually have a job and life that keeps me busy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry you didn't get it Georgie dear. For reference, most people don't live on their computers, the sheer physics would be uncomfortable.

    Some of us have lives that allow for free time, like right after they graduate a master's program and are working on research to benefit people in need. The research, planning and data collection often involves a computer, allowing for multitasking, like blogging!

    I hope you enjoyed your kitten, and if you hate everything I've got to say and you're just waiting to see my fall from happiness into misery, you can totally unsubscribe.

    <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. The newlywed's advice is sound. Write yourself a sticky note or make it the background to your phone. The wedding is ALL about you two. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Make the choices that will make you two happy. And just know that you'll have rough patches. Hubby and I have, but we work through them. You'll do the same.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He's the background on my phone ever since the day he hijacked it while I was in the shower and set it to himself. I hope that's a good enough reminder!

    ReplyDelete