Monday, June 20, 2011

Where is it?

    Where is the line? Where is the point that you stop allowing yourself to feel bad about things that have happened already? When is it ok to say "fuck everyone else, what's done is done, and I've done my best" and mean it? We say things along these lines so often, like I'll stop beating myself up about it, or I know that everything will be ok because I've done what I could, but so often we keep things that may have been wrongs in the back of our head and let them nag at us, causing future doubt and hesitation in our decisions.
    I think I've found the line. This weekend we had darling friends visit (these ones are pussy ass bitches, so I'll use their names), Cherise and Gill. They were the first to visit since the engagement, the first to care enough to come out of their way to congratulate us (and we don't even know Cherise well), and the first to make us laugh outside of the very small family that I'm fortunate enough to have. These two unknowingly drew that line in the sand (while we were at the beach!). Gill has always been (in my opinion) the best friend my fiance has and he has once again proven it, company in tow. Gill and I bicker like brother and sister, which as far as our lives are concerned is essentially what we shall be. He fills a void that I never knew I had, and at this point I consider him to be a better friend to me than most of those I have chosen for myself. I know that he will be there for me, if in no other way than as the brother-like-man of my husband to be. This makes him feel like family to me, and that is how he acts.
    My good friends act like family. These are the friends I deserve, and this is where the line will be drawn. I will no longer feel guilty about anything done concerning anyone that does not treat me in a manner that leads to my comfort and stability. These does lead for some weeding, but I know it is for the best.

    In other news, I think that the engagement party will be pushed back. I still need some time to recover from the situation with LCCWB and I honestly think that Chris and I just need some time to be just us. Spend some time enjoying our engagement. Laughing with Gill and Cherise this weekend helped us remember how to just have fun. We need to do more of that before we plan the most serious event of our lives so far. Followed by a lovely party, of course.
    Every day the future looks brighter. Even if my husband to be will be a pretentious ivy league douche bag, we're moving in the right direction in life, love, and finding the things we need to be complete.

For the angry people. <3

1 comment:

  1. I was reading back over my blog when I came across the comment Joe left me one time. It is my sincere wish that you and Chris have the same working relationship that Joe and I do. Take all the time in the world as long as you two are right for each other. You should be able to survive the work part of the relationship and appreciate each other for what you individually bring to the relationship. Love you, Sis!

    Hope Chris will always view you like Joe views me. A partner for life.
    http://oneladywolf.com/2009/04/musing/#comment-3

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